he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
