The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
