did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
