Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
