hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
