His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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