Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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