Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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