how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
