i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize