I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
