Don't make out with my wife yet
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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