He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize