life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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