uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
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