watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
