It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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