Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
