WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
