There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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