so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
