My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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