i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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