I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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