So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
