I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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