dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
