She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
