Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
