she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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