If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
