so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
