I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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