well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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