I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize