Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
