kristin has been a bad kristin
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
