he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
