My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize