3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
