I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
