I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
