best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
