I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
