there's paper in my vomit.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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