thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
