In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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