he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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