Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize