So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize