You just made me feel so damn special
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
