Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
