maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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