Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
