Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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