Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
