matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You smell like stripper and shame
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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