The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
