So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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