My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
