What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize