"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
