Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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