this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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