3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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