I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
