So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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