Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
